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Wednesday, 16 January 2013

Eating the worst Pizza in the world…. in Glossop.

Every year just before Christmas, me and a load of friends go on our annual Folk Train to Glossop. My mate's Cajun band The Eunice Bobcats play on the train and down at Glossop Labour Club. We all look forward to it, because then and only then does Christmas really begin. We run down to the club and secure our seats for the night.
The Eunice Bobcats.

I love the Labour Club, it reminds me of old fashioned clubs I used to go to when I was a kid, like they based Phoenix Nights on. Though the Glossop Labour Club has been 'done up' in recent times. The beers great, the company's great and the music is great. like I said we love it, it's a tradition.
A Pint of Moorhouse's for me please barman.
As part of that tradition, the folk train organisers ask for your pizza order on the train and it's delivered a while later in the club. These pizzas are delivered from a local company. They are without doubt the worst pizzas I've ever eaten. So why do I keep ordering them year after year then?
The grease seeps into the box....

Partly tradition, we've been doing it for nearly 10 years and it would seem churlish to stop now. Also there's the jealousy factor (as part of my 12 step gluttony program) I cannot possibly watch everybody else eating them and not have one myself. Thirdly, after a skinful of lovely beer, a crappy pizza actually does the job and stops me getting a hangover which seem to be getting worse as I get older.
Let me explain how bad they are.
The offending item.

Firstly the seafood one, which Dr Gambas has every year (as she's cruelly robbed of her seafood fixation at home for reasons I won't go into.) This tastes like the saltiest pizza you've ever eaten, with the cheapest cheese and most horrible thick base, deep fried in seawater and three week old oil, with old prawn shells added for garnish, and let rot for a week in a rancid back alley. Yes it's that bad.
She loves it.
The one I order is barely any better.
So will I be ordering a pizza next year?
Of course I will, it's tradition.

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